The Gatekeepers Who Were Once at the Gate: The Psychology of Hypocrisy
By any rational measure, empathy should be the natural outcome of lived experience. If you have trudged the road of hardship, your feet should still remember the stones. And yet, some of the most vocal opponents of immigration are immigrants themselves. Some of the most strident critics of “welfare dependency” are those whose own adult lives have been cushioned by parental safety nets. It’s a paradox that can look, from the outside, like rank hypocrisy — and often, it is.
This is not a new phenomenon. The “I’ve got mine, pull up the ladder” attitude has appeared across cultures and eras. Former refugees decrying new arrivals. The newly wealthy scorning the poor. First-generation college graduates dismissing student debt relief. In each case, the beneficiary of a helping hand becomes the loudest voice against extending that same hand to others.
Why? The short answer: ego protection, identity performance, and the deep human need to feel deserving.
From Lived Experience to Cognitive Dissonance
At the heart of hypocrisy lies a psychic tension. Psychologists call it cognitive dissonance — the discomfort we feel when our actions or history conflict with our self-image. If I see myself as hardworking and self-made, then remembering the visa lawyer who helped me stay in the UK, or the parents who covered my rent during a job search, threatens that image.
One way to resolve the tension is to admit the truth and accept that success often comes from a mix of personal effort and external support. That path requires humility and self-reflection. The other — and more common — way is to rewrite the story: Yes, I had help, but my case was different. I truly deserved it. Those people do not.
This mental editing allows a person to preserve their self-image as independent and exceptional, while recasting others in the same position as dependent and undeserving.
Projection: The Unconscious Finger Pointing
The mind has an arsenal of defenses to keep uncomfortable truths at bay. One of the most potent is projection — seeing in others the traits we don’t want to acknowledge in ourselves. If I feel uneasy about having been dependent on others, I might label today’s benefit recipients as lazy. If I once feared being seen as an “outsider,” I might distance myself from immigrants by opposing their arrival.
By condemning the very traits they share, hypocrites create psychological distance from their own vulnerabilities. It’s a form of self-exorcism: cast the shame outward, and you don’t have to carry it.
The Politics of Overcompensation
When newcomers join an in-group — be it a nation, a class, or a professional elite — they often overcompensate to prove they belong. This is particularly true for immigrants who want to shed the label of “foreigner” or working-class individuals who have moved into affluent circles.
Sociologists have long observed that marginal members of a group can become its most zealous gatekeepers. Their extremism is performative loyalty, a way of saying: I’m not like them anymore; I’m one of you.
Scarcity and the Myth of the Meritocracy
Add to this the scarcity mindset — the belief that opportunities are finite. In this worldview, every new immigrant, every new welfare recipient, is a direct threat to one’s own standing. Combine that with the meritocratic myth — the comforting fiction that success is purely the result of hard work — and you have fertile ground for hypocrisy. If resources are scarce and I “earned” mine, then anyone else seeking help must be cutting in line.
Is It Narcissism?
Not all hypocrisy is pathological, but it often contains narcissistic elements. There’s the selective empathy — kindness for the in-group, suspicion toward the out-group. There’s the relentless protection of a curated self-image. And there’s the unwillingness to acknowledge that luck, privilege, and help have played a role in one’s success.
But while some hypocrites might have personality disorders, most are simply ordinary people under the influence of ego, insecurity, and cultural conditioning.
Breaking the Hypocrisy Loop
If hypocrisy is a blend of ego defense and social performance, then breaking it requires both personal and collective interventions:
Self-awareness: Encouraging people to examine their own journeys honestly. The more we normalize vulnerability, the less need there is for defensive rewriting.
Perspective-taking: Direct, sustained exposure to the lives of those we judge — not as charity cases, but as equals with complex stories.
Challenging group norms: In-group pressure sustains much hypocrisy. When group norms shift toward openness and fairness, individuals often follow.
Redefining the “we”: Moving from narrow identities (“hardworking taxpayers,” “legitimate immigrants”) to broader, more inclusive ones (“people who sometimes need help”).
The Risk of Doing Nothing
Unchecked hypocrisy corrodes empathy and solidarity. It entrenches inequality by disguising privilege as virtue. And it allows the very systems that lifted people up to be dismantled for those who come after.
In the end, societies that reward “pulling up the ladder” end up with fewer ladders, fewer bridges, and more walls. And walls, as history shows, do not just keep others out — they trap us inside.